每次刷Billy前,我都會給點小零食滿足他的口腹之慾,有時候他沒得到滿足,便會在我刷他身體時,不斷的後退然後用他的嘴巴不斷跟我撒嬌,好像在告訴我「我還要吃啦!」,我通常就是要他往前進站回原來的地方,跟他說「等一下、等一下,刷完就可以吃」,然後他就會用他那賴皮又撒嬌的表情,又後退確定我可以看到,然後拼命盧,老實說我並不介意,這是我們的打情罵俏,他知道這樣撒嬌不會被我罵,但是要是我在擦屁股或是清腳的時候絕對不能動,這是我們兩個的默契。這一天,他又再跟我盧,突然我聽到我後方一聲「Billy,不要動」,然後一個女生突然出現,把Billy的繩子一把抓住、搶走我手中的刷子,然後甩著繩子對Billy示威,我一時之間傻了。
這個女生我並不認識他,他好像也不是馬主,只是我偶爾看他幫幾個馬主把馬帶去外面外放。就看她教訓著Billy告訴他,不准動,Billy反抗著不斷甩頭甩的高高的,接著這個女生就說「我就是要告訴他,不能亂動」然後開始刷起我的馬來了,我有點傻,我說「不會啦,他平常滿乖的」,這個女生說「我就是這樣教馬的、每一匹我帶的馬就是這樣被我教的乖乖的」,說罷不停手,每當Billy移動一個腳步,她又威嚇Billy一次,然後竟然刷順手了,還換一個刷子打算幫我刷完,這時Billy看著我求救的眼神,我不知道到底該怎麼辦,救他會不會不禮貌,不救他他好可憐,我只能眼睜睜的看我的馬背欺負。等到這個女生全部刷完,她才滿意的說「你就是要這樣教馬」,然後才得意的離開,我傻眼到不行。
那天刷完後,我帶Billy到場內想讓他散散步,今天沒騎他,讓他可以伸展一下順便滾一滾,結果沒想到,就在肩並肩我牽著他散步時,Billy竟試圖咬我,這個行為已經很久沒出現了,他這一個月以來乖的向貓一樣,看得出來很努力當一個聽話的小公馬,總是看著我的眼神確定可以達到我的要求,怎麼突然小惡魔又在他身上出現了,我的直覺是馬上教訓他要他後退,不過他反應可是比我還兇,堅決寸土不讓,我很有種的用著我的小身軀頂著他,「你退不退、你退不退」,我想我還是有把握他不會傷害我的,我知道這傢伙用這招沒用,但就是直覺反應,這是一般的基本教戰守則。但我也不是第一天認識他,他是不得不退, 但退了還是繼續做狀要咬我 ,我心裡想,怎麼一回事,這個壞行為又回來了,難道是因為剛才我看他被人欺負我沒有保護他,他現在是在告訴我「原來你不是我老大」,我的情緒從剛剛的傻眼逐漸轉為憤怒,我教了一個多月,一下子救被一個莫名其妙的女生給毀了。
當晚回家越想越氣,這行為跟「上我家,打我小還有什麼不一樣」,誰允許你教我家小孩的阿!我們是在打情罵俏你懂個什麼阿!回家忍不住跟老公抱怨,老公第一個反應是「那個人不是馬主吧?」我就說「應該不是」,老公回答「這個就像有小孩的人都懂得,不要教人家怎麼教他的小孩」「Billy對你沒大沒小是應該的阿!說好的領導者的保護呢!」我心裡超羞愧的,我這一個月來做的努力,因為知道在窄小的走道,經過時他怕被騎他的馬踢,橫身擋在他跟騎他馬之間,因為知道有些馬總是頭伸的長長的豎起耳朵跟他示威,我在經過時,便雙手擋住那些大馬,避免他們有機會咬到Billy,因為這些舉動,他以為我是那個保護他的人,所他也盡他最大的可能聽話,乖到讓我覺得不要那麼沒脾氣好嗎?而如今一個事件,好像在告訴他,我其實不是他的保護者。對動物而言,一切的行為都是為了「活下去」,對馬而言領導者必須提供「活下去的保證」,這就是為什麼馬尊敬著領頭的母馬,因為領頭的母馬知道哪裡有吃的、往哪裡逃安全,所以馬群甘心的跟著她。想要成為領頭的母馬,馬主必須提供「食物、情感、安全」,食物是最廉價的、也最容易被複製的,養馬的人對馬有情感也不難,而安全是身為人類的我們很難展示給馬看到的,一旦馬覺得跟你在一起安全,他會相信一切你要他做的事,因為他知道他不用擔心,你會搞定。而我剛失去了我安全的這張牌。
隔天我帶著Billy去草原吃草,心裡想著「希望你把昨晚發生的一切就當作夢,忘了吧」。他好像又回到我的Billy了,喜歡在我身邊吃草,只要我散步到不同區,他就從身後三步並兩步的跟上,他總喜歡一邊吃草,一邊用眼角餘光偷瞄我在幹什麼,然後每次滾完土後,就會開心的跑呀跑,在跑到我身邊撒嬌,今天一切如常,連叫他回家時,他也是很乖的跑到出口處,等著我給他寄上繩子,當我正開心「我的Billy果真當昨晚是夢一場」,領著他回去的路上,他突然冷不妨又作勢要咬我,當然我馬上火大,又重複了明知道對他無用的招「後退」,他比我更凶,我們兩個誰也不讓誰,我扯著他的頭、大聲罵他,他又冷不妨大咬一口在我的手臂,還好他沒那個膽,那一口只是輕滑過去,我忽然恢復神智,他不吃後退這招,我要把自己變大,於是我挺起我的腰桿、拉開我的肩膀,站的直挺挺的, 他便開始示弱,嘴巴也開始咀嚼(表示示弱放鬆),我一剎那心中難過了起來,淚水在眼眶中打轉「對不起,昨晚是我的錯,我會好好保護你,不會再讓別人欺負你」。我不知道他聽懂了沒有,那天過後,他就沒有再試圖咬我了。
大概是封城太久了,還是工作到了一個程度,遇到瘋子的機會真的很少,突然遇到一個瘋子到我家打我的小孩,還是個小女孩,我竟然毫無招架之力。我隔天跟別的馬主提起這件事,才知道我不是唯一的受害者,這位姑娘被嘲弄為騎了12年卻還不會騎馬,卻自以為懂很多,老是這樣跳出來教訓別人家的馬,「大概他想要讓你認為他對馬很有一套,看你會不會把Billy交給他照顧」,我的媽呀!我們家是愛的教育,打死我都不會把Billy交給他的。可不是每次都那麼幸運我可以用兩天的時間就導正Billy的錯誤行為,如果他在上門來,我肯定會毫不猶豫的說「不要碰我的馬!」
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