今天老公問我一句話「你覺得Billy把你當boss還是leader?」,有什麼不一樣嗎?「如果你是boss,他只是不得不聽你的話。如果你是leader,他是因為相信你有更好的判斷而願意聽你的話」。從來沒有細想過這個問題,但的確這樣的區分讓我不住思考,在職場上,主管們到底認為自己是boss還是leader?
那天陪Billy在河邊散步,正在吃草的他沒放下警覺,一看到有人靠近他馬上抬頭看看我,我一看一百公尺處有個人正往我們靠近,我跟他說”「it’s ok, it is just a person」,他滿意的接受我的答案,繼續低頭吃草,直到這個人越靠近我才發現是個釣客拿了把長長的釣竿,這下Billy看的更清楚了,又抬頭用眼神望著我「真的沒事嗎?」,我跟他保證「it’s ok],但我感覺他的身體有點緊繃,我拍拍他跟他保證沒事,當釣客距離我們兩公尺左右,釣客朝著Billy的路徑走來,我站在三公尺寬的河岸的中間,身體面向Billy並拍著他安撫他,想把另外一邊的路讓給釣客走,但Billy一溜煙便逃到我身後,確定自己的安全,我這時才看清楚,那支釣竿還真不是普通的長,大概讓Billy想到他最怕的馬鞭,難怪他要趕快像平常一樣躲在我身後(哈哈哈,一有危險,他很聰明,先推我去死)。因為這件事,我想我在Billy的心中應該是leader吧! Leader不就是應該遇到狀況要判斷風險,必要時要站出來擋子彈的嗎?
有人說我對Billy太好了,從來不捨得罵他或揍他,其實這也並非全部事實,當他明知故犯時,我潑辣開罵跟動手動腳都來了,最常發生的是放他吃草時說了「回家」卻走給我追,他的表情說明了他的確明知故犯,所以他就像一個作錯事的小孩一樣被我責備,然後短期內他就不再犯同樣的錯誤。當我騎他做訓練時,他總有一些小聰明,有時候是學醉漢走路讓我控制不了以逃避練習,或是一遇到太困難的練習就速度加快,不然就是拉我的韁繩,但這些小聰明也不是故意的,這是他本能想到的「好方法」,但是我只要糾正一兩次,他便會停止這種小聰明,在我看來,這也沒必要打罵,他只是想這麼做,他沒有想這是對還不對,試過後被糾正才知道「喔!這樣不可以喔!」只要教的動的,打罵是浪費力氣,也只會讓馬越來越怕,一點意義都沒有。
反觀在職場上,有多少部屬完全相信他的主管的判斷,主管是不是在過去累積了足夠的信任感,讓部屬願意拋頭顱灑熱血,而又有多少主管真的會跳出來為部屬擋子彈。過去我總是很直覺性的替部屬擋掉一些事,讓他們少受點傷,不然就會提醒他們什麼渾水不要淌,只覺得這是該做的。剛開始Billy對我的「it’s ok」沒有那麼買帳,但八個月來,每次我說[「it’s ok」真的就沒事,而我覺得有風險的,我就會拉住他說「Hey!」所以他覺得他一直活得很安全,跟著我就對了,我想當主管也要給部屬這樣的信心,跟著我陞官發財一路平安。
我也在職場上見識到不少愛教訓人的主管,結果搞得部屬這也不敢做那也不敢做,多做多錯,少做少錯。我也承認過去我對愛的教育的看法是過於虛偽,但在訓馬的過程中,我學習到「正向增強」,當我鼓勵Billy哪裡做的好,他就知道原來這樣做是對的,他就會記住,下次到這裡要這樣做,當所有的技巧都靠正向增強學到了,實在沒有必要又踢又罵的,有時候踢個老半天他也不知道怎麼做你才開心。畢竟人是可以溝通的,正向增強應該佔溝通的80%,我們不會得到一個完美的部屬,但如果他把我們覺得他做的好的事,全部都做好,我想當主管的已經覺得阿彌陀佛囉!
你是boss還是leader? Boss是公司賦予你的角色,而leader卻能夠人跟隨你無論你換了什麼職位。

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Wow, this comparison between a boss and a leader really hits home. I’ve never thought about it in quite this way before. The example with Billy is perfect – it shows that trust makes all the difference. I’ve worked under both types of managers, and I can definitely say the ones who were leaders made me want to do my best, while the bosses just made me feel like I was checking boxes. Funny enough, I was just playing that Only Up game last night where you’re constantly trying to climb higher, and it got me thinking about how good leadership helps you reach your potential rather than just pushing you upward. Thanks for sharing this – it’s given me a lot to think about in my own role at work.
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